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Home Financial Planning

Healing from Financial Trauma: Taking the First Steps to Building a Better Relationship With Money

Step one: figure out where the trauma comes from. Step 2: Start unravelling it. Step 3: Start working past it.

Sara by Sara
July 9, 2025
in Financial Planning
Reading Time: 10 mins read
0
Person sits at a table flipping a financial trauma notebook.

Embarking on a journey to heal from financial trauma can feel like navigating through a dense, uncharted forest.

You know you need to find your way out, but the path isn’t always clear.

If you’ve ever felt a knot in your stomach when opening a bill, or if the thought of checking your bank balance fills you with dread, know that you’re not alone. Financial trauma, with its deep roots in our experiences and fears, affects many of us. Yet, discussing it openly remains somewhat taboo.

The purpose of this article isn’t just to acknowledge the existence of financial trauma – it’s about taking those first, crucial steps toward healing.

It’s about recognizing that while money should serve as a tool for achieving our dreams, for too many, it becomes a source of endless anxiety and stress.

 

Healing From Financial Trauma

Maybe debt feels like a dark cloud looming over your future or the impact of a financial loss knocked the wind out of your sails. Either way, the path to a healthier relationship with money begins with understanding, acceptance, and a gentle push in the right direction.

Getting started means understanding that healing is possible and within our reach.

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Instead of continuing to treat it like a taboo subject, it’s time to build a foundation for a future where financial decisions empower us, rather than scare us.

Let this article be your first step on the path to financial healing, offering practical advice, support, and a community that understands. Together, we’ll navigate the murky waters of financial trauma, aiming for a shore where our finances are a source of strength and not fear.

 

 

Understanding Financial Trauma

Financial trauma can silently weave its way through our lives, often unnoticed until a particular event brings it to the surface.

Where does financial trauma stem from?

It could stem from:

  • growing up in a household where money was a constant source of conflict
  • experiencing a significant financial loss
  • societal pressures that equate success with financial prosperity

Understanding that financial trauma is not just about the numbers in your bank account, but also about the emotions and beliefs tied to those numbers is the first step toward healing.

Identify the experiences that have defined your relationship with money.

To begin untangling the complex web of financial trauma, it’s essential to identify the experiences that have shaped your relationship with money.

Was there a moment in your past that made you feel powerless or scared about your financial situation?

Recognizing these moments and the impact they’ve had on you can be challenging but also incredibly freeing. It’s like turning on a light in a room that’s been dark for too long, allowing you to see what you’re dealing with clearly.

Acknowledging your financial trauma is not about assigning blame or dwelling in the past.

Instead, it’s about allowing yourself to feel whatever emotions come up and understanding that those feelings are valid. This recognition is the foundation upon which you can start building a healthier relationship with money – one where you are in control, not your past experiences.

 

Establishing a New Dialogue with Money

To heal from financial trauma, it’s crucial to start changing the narrative around money in your life.

This doesn’t mean simply switching from negative to positive thinking but rather developing a more nuanced and compassionate conversation with yourself about finances.

How do you speak about money?

Begin by observing the language you use when thinking or talking about money.

Do you find yourself using words that carry a lot of emotional weight or negativity?

Try to gently correct this language in real time, opting for neutral or positive words that don’t trigger stress or anxiety.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m broke,” you might say, “Right now, I’m prioritizing my spending differently.”

Another powerful exercise is to write a letter to money as if it were a person, outlining how:

  • you feel about it
  • it has impacted your life
  • you wish your relationship with it to evolve

This will probably feel weird at first, but it’s a cathartic way to confront and articulate complex feelings you might not have even realized you were harboring.

Small daily affirmations can also be incredibly potent. Phrases like these can help shift your mindset gradually but significantly.

  • “I am in control of my finances,”
  • “I make wise financial decisions,”
  • “I deserve financial peace and prosperity”

It’s about creating a new, healthier association with money, one that acknowledges its importance without letting it dictate your self-worth or happiness.

 

Setting Realistic Short-Term Financial Goals

After reassessing your relationship with money and beginning to shift your mindset, the next step is to set achievable short-term financial goals.

These goals act as stepping stones towards a healthier financial future and offer a sense of progress and control. Start small to ensure success, which will shift your momentum, boost your confidence and encourage you to make more positive changes.

  • Create a Basic Budget: If the thought of budgeting is overwhelming, just start by tracking your income and your most critical expenses (rent, utilities, groceries). This basic awareness is the foundation of financial healing.
  • Build a Mini Emergency Fund: Aim to save a small amount, such as $100 or $500, to cover unexpected expenses. This can relieve anxiety about potential financial surprises.
  • Address a Small Debt: If you have multiple debts, consider focusing on paying off a small one first. The sense of achievement from clearing a debt can be incredibly empowering and motivate you to tackle larger ones.
  • Educate Yourself Financially: Dedicate a little time each week to learn about personal finance. This can be through books, podcasts, or articles. Knowledge is power, and understanding financial principles can demystify many of your fears and anxieties surrounding money.
  • Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to acknowledge something you’re grateful for that doesn’t cost money. This practice helps to cultivate a sense of abundance that isn’t tied to financial wealth.

Remember, these goals are not about making huge leaps overnight. They’re about taking small, consistent steps toward a healthier financial life. Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small!

Recognize that each one brings you closer to overcoming financial trauma.

 

Finding Support and Building a Financial Safety Net

One of the most important steps in healing from financial trauma is to realize you don’t have to do it alone. Seeking support and building a network can provide both practical advice and emotional reassurance during your journey.

  • Seek Professional Help: Consider consulting a financial therapist or counselor, especially if your financial trauma is deeply rooted. These professionals can offer tailored advice and coping strategies. Some non-profit organizations offer free or low-cost counseling services for those concerned about the cost.
  • Join Supportive Communities: Look for online forums, social media groups, or local meetups focused on financial wellness. Sharing experiences and advice with others who understand your situation can be incredibly comforting and informative.
  • Educate With Trusted Resources: Make use of free educational resources to boost your financial literacy. Websites like the National Foundation for Credit Counseling or podcasts on personal finance can offer valuable insights without overwhelming you.
  • Create an Accountability Circle: This could be a friend, family member, or even a group who you trust to help keep you on track with your goals. Just make sure it’s someone who understands and supports your journey towards financial healing.
  • Start Small with Investing: Once you’re ready, consider beginning to invest in small amounts. Platforms like Acorns or Stash can automate this process, helping you grow your savings gradually without needing a large upfront investment.

Building a support network and slowly increasing your financial safety net can significantly impact your healing process. It provides a cushion for financial emergencies and a sense of community and shared experience that can be crucial in overcoming trauma.

 

Establishing a New Relationship with Money

As you navigate the journey of healing from financial trauma, redefining your relationship with money is essential. This involves shifting your perspective from seeing money as a source of stress to viewing it as a tool for achieving your dreams and securing your well-being.

  • Practice Mindfulness with Spending: Begin by observing your spending habits without judgment. Identify triggers that lead to unnecessary spending and find healthier ways to cope with those emotions. Mindfulness apps can help guide this practice, encouraging a more intentional approach to spending.
  • Set Clear Financial Boundaries: Learn to say no to financial commitments that don’t align with your goals or current capacity. This might mean declining invitations requiring spending beyond your budget or limiting your discretionary expenses.
  • Celebrate Financial Wins, No Matter the Size: Acknowledge every step forward, whether it’s paying off a small debt, saving an extra $10, or simply sticking to your budget for the week. These victories, however small, build momentum and reinforce positive financial behaviors.
  • Visualize Your Financial Goals: Create a vision board or a list of your financial goals, including both short-term objectives and long-term dreams. Seeing these goals regularly can keep you motivated and remind you of the positive aspects of managing your money well.
  • Incorporate Financial Education into Your Routine: Dedicate a little time each week to learn about financial management. Whether it’s through books, podcasts, or articles, expanding your knowledge can demystify aspects of finance that previously caused anxiety.

By fostering a new, healthier relationship with money, you’re not just healing from past trauma; you’re setting the foundation for a future where financial stability supports your overall well-being and life goals.

Remember, this journey is personal and unique to you – embrace the process, be patient with yourself, and celebrate each step towards financial empowerment.

 

Final Thoughts 

The journey to healing from financial trauma and building a healthier relationship with money is both challenging and rewarding. It’s a path paved with small, deliberate steps that lead to significant changes in how you perceive and interact with your finances.

Starting with exercises like tracking your spending, practicing gratitude, and setting attainable goals allows you to take control of your financial narrative, moving from a place of fear and anxiety to one of empowerment and confidence.

 

Healing Takes Time!

Remember, healing is not a linear process. There will be setbacks and victories, moments of doubt, and times of significant progress. Each experience offers valuable lessons that contribute to your growth.

Embrace the journey, knowing that with each step, you’re not just moving away from past trauma; you’re moving towards a future where your financial well-being supports your dreams and aspirations.

This blog aims to begin that conversation, offering initial steps and strategies to start on the path of financial healing. We encourage you to share your experiences, tips, and any resources that have helped you navigate your financial healing journey. Together, we can create a supportive community that empowers each of us to build a better relationship with money.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published Apr 6, 2024 and has been updated to improve reader experience.

Photo By: Kaboompics.com

Tags: financial stress
Sara

Sara

Sara DeSantis is an Accredited Financial Counselor Candidate through the AFCPE and is an adjunct professor teaching personal financial literacy. She is passionate about teaching the basics of finance to young adults who are entering the adult world with debt. Sara is part of the FIRE movement and hopes to retire before 30. She has published dozens of finance articles for blogs, developed finance courses, and written over 50 financial podcast scripts. Sara resides in Denver, CO.

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